“White Independence Day?” Shut Your Mouth.

Can’t the Fourth of July be the one day that we Americans can put aside our differences and just celebrate being American? We can go our partisan ways on the fifth, but come on, put away your squabbles and enjoy the hotdogs and fireworks, ok people?

But nooooo, Chris Rock and some other numbskulls had to take to twitter to say that America sucks, slavery once existed here, blah, blah, blah, genocide. Seriously on that last one. When, exactly, has America practiced genocide? Never, that’s when.

For everyone that thinks America sucks, why don’t you leave? Nothing’s stopping you. You could go to China, where they routinely strap pregnant women down and abort their third-trimester fetuses due to their insane one-child policy.

I hear Cuba is lovely this time of year. Good thing, because you won’t be watching TV. State police in Cuba will climb onto your roof to remove your satellite dish, because it’s illegal to pick up uncensored media from abroad.

Saudi Arabia might take you, but if you’re a woman, make sure you bring your husband, brother, or father with you, because outside of them, you have no rights. You can’t even drive a car.

Many of the countries in Africa practice female genital mutilation, mostly on little girls. 92 million girls in Africa ten years old and up have had their lady bits hacked at with a knife, with no anesthesia. Now that’s a real war on women.

But none of those atrocities could possibly compare with evil, racist America! Whatever. When America was founded, slavery was a worldwide accepted and ancient practice, and we led the western world in abolishing it within three generations. That’s something to be proud of, not ashamed.

America is awesome. It’s why people want to come here. It’s the best place to work, live, and play. Our cancer survival rates are higher than any other country. We have more toys, more rights, and more opportunities to excel than anywhere else. To say otherwise is a mistruth that dishonors the men and women that fought, and still fight today, for your freedom to say idiotic things.

So shut your mouth, grab a beer and thank whomever it is you praise that you don’t live in Yemen, because alcohol is prohibited there.

Iowa Impressions

I’m currently freezing my hiney off in Des Moines, chasing down candidates and talking to Iowans about the balmy weather, which candidate they’ll vote for tomorrow night, and life in general. Despite the cold, I’ve got to say that my biggest impression of Iowa so far is the people.

Simply put, the people I’ve met here are some of the nicest, most genuine people I’ve met in my entire life.  I’m so fortunate to get to travel semi-regularly for my job, so I’ve been to a lot of places over the past couple of years. Every city has its perks, and it’s the friendly people that win Des Moines over for me.

Silly example, but it paints a picture: I went to Target this morning to pick up a new pair of shades, and when I checked out, the salesgirl took out a small pair of scissors and handed them to me to cut the tag off. I didn’t even have to ask! What a sweetheart.

Later I was out at a Michele Bachmann meet-and-greet, and got to chat with some of the locals. I asked them how they felt about the hullaballoo surrounding the caucuses, and they all said that they loved it. The excitement, the boon to the economy, the opportunity to be first in the nation … the reasons varied from person to person, but they were all happy to have the candidates, the media and (in my case) media wannabes there.

Even the Democrats are sweet. On the plane on the way in, I got to chatting with a sweet lady probably old enough to be my grandmother. She mentioned that she was hosting a caucus, and I asked her where abouts. “Oh, it will just be a small one; it’s for the Democrats,” she told me.

“Oh yeah, definitely a quiet year for that … I’m on the other side of the aisle, myself,” I (awkwardly) responded. She just patted my hand and said, “That’s ok, Dear.”

Perhaps the best story of all comes from my friends Larry and Meredith, who were driving from Chicago to Des Moines on Saturday when they stopped for gas in Davenport, which I assume is somewhere between Point A and Point B, but I was never very good at geography. Somehow, Meredith’s suitcase got left at the gas station, and it wasn’t missed until they made it all the way to Des Moines.

They called the local police, and they actually sent a car out to look for it. On New Year’s Eve. Super nice, but unfortunately the bag wasn’t there. However, someone had picked it up, and called the number on the tag. They made arrangements to make arrangements the next day to go get the bag (several hours away), but one of the security guys working the convention center overheard their plight.

It turns out that wonderful Jim, security guy extraordinaire and knight with a shiny badge, had a daughter visiting her boyfriend in Davenport that was driving home the next day, and did they want her to pick up the bag and bring it home with her? It is now Sunday evening, and I’m happy to report that Meredith and her luggage have been reunited thanks to the kindness of Iowans.

Iowa, you may be colder than a penguin’s toes, but your warm-hearted people more than make up for it.

Elsewhere on the Internet

Working 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin! Heh. Work-at-home moms laugh in that song’s face. Clocking out? What’s that like? Hold that thought, I think my kids are jumping off the top bunk again, and I don’t have time for an ER trip today so I really need to stop them before there’s a broken arm that needs tending.

Now what were you saying?

In between choruses of “I’m hungry!” and breaking up fights and swimming and paying bills and visiting with adorable chubby babies, I wrote some stuff. You should totally read it. In the words of Thing 2, “Cuz I say so.”

I really have no idea where she gets it.

Do you know how much oil we’re sitting on in the U.S? A lot. Way more than Saudi Arabia. You know what would be cool? Creating nearly a million American jobs and lowering the cost of fuel. Drill, baby, drill.

Was it a corporate jet? Was it an ATM? Nope, it was Obamacare that killed the economy. I wonder if there was a death panel involved…

Shared sacrifice my hiney. If I hear President Obama say one more time that ‘the rich’ have to pay their fair share, I will scream. Or at least tweet about it. Because Dude? You know what’s not fair? That fact that half the population pays nothing.

That’s the roundup! Have a great week, you guys.

Elsewhere on the Internet

I tapped some keys last week. Some words were strung together. You should go read it all because its like totally thought-provoking and schtuff. And also because page views make me feel good about myself, and as a child of the 80s, I know that’s way more important than math or reading skills.

Some of the comments on my Obamacare Spies piece are so ripe with naiveté that I don’t wonder how Nancy Pelosi gets reelected. Maybe basic comprehension skills are more important than self-esteem after all. Oh well.

Also on Obamacare, I wrote about how the individual mandate bullies Americans into buying health insurance. I used the Obama admin’s own guidelines for recognizing bullies to prove my point. I love hoisting people on their own petards. I hate the words hoist and petard. I promise not to use them again. At least not with cringing.

Remember a few weeks ago when ATMs destroyed the economy? Well last week it was corporate fat cats and their private jets. Pick a scape goat and stick to it, Mr. President.

And then there was that study that suggested Republicans are more patriotic than Democrats. Uh … duh. Democrats need to abandon the Harry Reids of their party and get back to pride in their country. It’s a rockin’ place to live, work, and play.

High Gas Prices Make Me Want to Cry

This past weekend, my hubby and I decided to drag the kids to Costco after church on Sunday. We’re obviously masochists, I know. Our Costco has a gas station that sells fuel for about $.25 less per gallon than the average local station. When we pulled into the parking lot, the lines for these discount pumps were eight and nine cars deep.

People were waiting for half an hour or more to pay $3.75 per gallon of gas. I just hope they weren’t letting their engines idle — that sort of defeats the purpose. By the time we waded through the crowd in the warehouse store with our 12-pack of chicken breasts and so-cute-we-had-to-buy-them matching pajamas for the girls and were on our way home, the price of unleaded had gone up to $3.77.

Supply, demand, and speculation over the woes in the Middle East have contributed to some pretty pricey gasoline. Let’s face it: There’s a limited amount of oil in the world, more countries are developing industrially, and the place most everyone gets their oil from is, for better or worse, in the midst of a revolution.

Of course the cost of energy is going to go up. It’s written in The Law of Common Sense, right in between “what goes up must come down,” and “never stare down the barrel of a shotgun.” (You can find this book in the ‘Welcome Newbies’ section of the Republican bookstore, along with Facts Are Not Hard and A Convenient Truth.)

Read more at The Stir

Thank You, Pilgrims, for Religious Freedom

This is the first of a three-part series on Thankfulness for the Pilgrimage to America.

It’s Thanksgiving week. Which means that I’m frantically grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and generally trying not to go insane. One trick I’ve employed over the years to preserve my sanity is to take a deep breath and remind myself of what I’m thankful for.

Isn’t that what Thanksgiving is all about?

This year, I find myself ironically thankful that my life is nothing like the lives of the Pilgrims before they ventured to the new world. I have the freedom to work, play, and worship how I want, but 400 years ago, the Pilgrims didn’t.

Read the rest at The Stir

Veterans Day: ‘Homes for Our Troops’ Is One Way to Say ‘Thank You’

The United States has been at war in the Middle East since 2001. Shortly after Islamic terrorists killed 3,000 innocent people in 2001, our soldiers went to Afghanistan in Operation Enduring Freedom. Over a year later, the United States was at war against terror in Iraqas well.

Over 5,000 Americans have been killed in Afghanistan and Iraq, and over 35,000 have been injured, some so severely that they have lost much of their independence due to specialized needs.

One organization that is actively working to meet the needs of our disabled veterans is Homes for Our Troops. The non-profit, non-partisan group was founded in 2004, and is “strongly committed to helping those who have selflessly given to our country and havereturned home with serious disabilities and injuries since September 11, 2001.”

Homes for Our Troops provides houses, at no cost, to soldiers that were severely disabled in Iraq or Afghanistan. Although eligible veterans may receive up to $63,780 under a Specially Adapted Housing Grant, this barely begins to cover the cost of a specially modified home to meet the needs of the individual.

This week, the week of Veterans Day, Homes for Our Troops announced a campaign to build 100 more homes for severely disabled veterans. Over the past several years, they have built 70 homes, with 30 more in various stages of completion. There are 50 more veterans on the waiting list, and that number continues to grow.

Homes for Our Troops founder, John Gonsalves said, “This campaign is a wonderful, tangible opportunity for Americans to give back the freedom and independence that has been lost due to life-altering injuries suffered by our injured veterans.”

On this Veterans Day, I am proud to be an American, and humbled by the men and women who have sacrificed so much to defend the United States from terrorists. I don’t have the wherewithal to build an accessible house for handicapped veterans, but I can click the donate button.

Thank you, Veterans. God bless you this Veterans Day.

Cross Posted at The Stir

Jenny Erikson Radio Show – Episode 0003

In which I talk about the liberal litter bugs in DC, my favorite #WhyImVotingDemocrat tweets, and chat with Princella Smith about feminism, fetuses, and race.

The Liberal Litter Bugs on the Mall

On Saturday my friends and I went to the National Mall in Washington, D.C. to check out the museums and monuments and to generally revel in being American. I even got to ride the metro for the first time ever! It was very exciting, and I learned a new rule: Don’t touch anything on the subway.

It was a gorgeous day in the capitol. Seriously, It was so pretty I almost heard music playing in the background. It was also full of a bunch of people wearing purple shirts and carrying fancy-schmancy SIEU signs.

Is a $0.49 piece of poster board and a magic marker not good enough for yah?

The “One Nation Working Together” rally was Saturday, so unions and other leftest groups bussed in thousands of attendees to whine and complain that America sucks. Like one of my friends said, it’s easy to get union members to come to political events. Monday mornings roll around awfully fast, after all.

We even witnessed a couple of UAW chapter bosses checking people off a list as they saw them. It kills me that we didn’t get video.

While it was a bit crowded, it was nothing like the photos I saw from the Restoring Honor Rally, or the 9/12 March. It was obvious that the attendance was a fraction of what it was for conservative events.

Being the responsible, law-abiding citizens we are, conservatives left the lawn as they had found it: Green and clean.

The lefty liberals? Not so much. Here are just a few shots of what we saw on the Mall.

Fight the debris, Nimrod

Obama supporters did this

Poor Abe had to witness this

One Nation attendees, you should be ashamed of yourselves

What a sad day. The left can’t get people to an event without bussing them in and making sure their bosses cross their names off the list. The left can’t make their own signs, they have to be handed flashy manufactured ones. The left can’t even get people to respect the National Mall, a place that deserves reverence. The left can’t get a group of people that claim to care about the environment to, you know, actually care about the environment.

I overheard one of the attendees talking to a park ranger. “I just don’t understand,” he said, “Why is there so much trash? I heard there wasn’t any at that Beck rally … How did they do it?”

Because conservatives aren’t a bunch of whiney litter bugs with no sense of personal responsibility.

That’s how.

What Independence Day Means to Me

Scott Brown had a contest detailed here, asking participants to describe what Independence Day means to them in 250 words or less. I missed the deadline because I just found out about it, but thought I’d share what I would have entered:

Independence Day means sweat and sweetness. It means a day at the beach or park with the kids, while they run around like wild banshees. It’s 90 degrees out, but we don’t care. Popsicles melt down chins, and I go through an entire box of baby wipes in a vain attempt to wipe faces and hands.

It means breaking out glow-in-the-dark necklaces as the sun sets. We break the tubes inside, the delicious crackling releasing chemicals into the plastic rope that will glow for hours. The children become nothing more than flashes of neon as they run through the dark.

The men poke at the fire, each letting their inner pyro-maniac out to play. My husband always wins, of course, and the flames are soon ready for marshmallow toasting.

Marshmallow goo and melted chocolate and cookie crumbs cover little faces. And, um, mine too. I lament the empty baby wipes box, but a friend comes to the rescue and shares hers with our sticky family.

The fireworks come, and our toddler gleefully screams, “Mores!” after each boom. A massive explosion of color in the sky, and my husband kisses me while we hold our exhausted yet filled-to-the-brim-with-joy daughters.

We revel in America.

This country totally rocks.