Adventures with Jenny At the Lincoln Memorial

“So what do you want to do?”

“I want to lick the Liberty Bell.”

“I’m sorry … what?”

That’s the conversation that Justin Hart and I shared on Friday night. Not being obsessed with How I Met Your Mother (seriously guys, it’s on Netflix streaming. Go watch it. You’re welcome.), the poor guy had no idea what I was talking about.

Especially given that we were in DC, and even though there are tons of national monuments and totally important historical things there, the Liberty Bell is in Philly.

It’s called a metaphor, Justin.

There’s this great episode of How I Met Your Mother in which Barney takes Ted to Philadelphia to hook up with some girls, and it turns out to be kind of lame, but then before they fly back to New York, Barney decides he wants to lick the Liberty Bell because why not? Life is for living. Grab it by the crack and lick the crap out of it.

My favorite place on the planet (so far) is the Lincoln Memorial. I don’t know. I just love it. I’m always so jealous I have to share it with the crowds because all I want to do is sit there and revel in it. Read the second inaugural address out loud. Wonder what would’ve been different if Lincoln hadn’t died when he did. Think freedom-y thoughts.

I wanted to experience that. So I did what any other completely ridiculous person would do and decided to sneak into the Lincoln Memorial. Because why not?


“I am not bailing you out. I have to work in the morning.” (That was Ashley. She had a legitimate excuse.)

“Come on, let’s just go and case the joint. Come on! Let’s go!” (That was me. I was determined.) “What’s the worst that could happen? Someone might ask us to leave?”

“Someone might ask us to leave by way of prison, JENNY.”

“There’s hardly any chance at all that could happen. Let’s go! Peer pressure, peer pressure, everybody’s doing it!”

“No one is doing it but you, and you’re reckless.”

“I am not reckless. Now let’s go sneak into the Lincoln Memorial.”

It’s really hard to argue with me sometimes.

Anyway, that’s how I ended up at the Lincoln Memorial at one a.m. on a Friday night Saturday morning, totally licking the crap out of the crack of life. And we totally didn’t get arrested.

When Justin finally pried me away from my boyfriend Abe, he thanked me for dragging him out there, because who knew you could walk right up to a national monument in the middle of the night?

It’s your life. Now go live it.

(And please try not to get arrested.)

Horrible Photo. But 'Pics or It Didn't Happen."


  1. Abe looks nervous

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  3. New Iconoclast says:

    I was there in ’85 and visited the Memorial at midnight; no need to sneak in. But I thought maybe things had changed somewhat since 9/11. Heaven forbid people should be thinking about history after visiting hours – might be subversive.

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