Late Mornings and Cute Dads

I’m a total lame-o. I’m also NOT a morning person. Like, at all. I cannot be considered a functioning human being until I’ve gone vertical and at least cracked open a Coke Zero.

Which means trouble when Leif has to be at work by 7 and I’m left to get the kids up and out of bed, fed, dressed, hair brushed, and Thing 1 to school by 8:15. Yesterday morning we were only a few minutes late. This morning? This morning I looked at the clock when I woke up and cussed. It was closing in on 9. The girls were in their room just waking up.


Because I have mad skillz in the getting-ready-quickly-because-I-want-to-sleep-as-long-as-possiblee department, we were signing a tardy form in the school office in less than half an hour.

Thing 2 was not amused to leave her playmate at school. Already feeling like a failure as a parent, I really didn’t want to spend the morning trying to ignore the four-hour-long tantrum I could feel coming. So we went to Barnes and Noble so she could play with the train table and hopefully another kid or two.

So. There I was in all my morning glory. Pony tail, only the slightest bit of makeup, bloodshot eyes, and I’m pretty sure I my right armpit missed out on the deodorant. But that’s ok! It was before 10 – not like the other moms at Barnes and Noble care about the dark circles under my eyes or my lazy, messy hairdo.

I made an important realization this morning at the bookstore. Dads should not be stay-at-home-dads. Especially not ridiculously good looking dads with manners and charm and adorable chubby toddlers.

Because while I can’t even manage to get my kid to school on time, let alone blowdry my hair or put earrings in or brush my teeth (crap, I just realized I didn’t brush my teeth this morning), this dude is probably the perfect husband to the perfect wife, and they live in their perfect house and sing opera together for fun. They probably kick ass at laser tag too.

Then I remembered how easy it is for guys to get ready in the morning. How sexy stubble is on a chin, but not on legs. The simple decision between a t-shirt and shorts or a t-shirt and jeans. And the fact that you can take almost any dude, add a baby, and it’s automatically sexy.

Then I thought about all the times over the last year or two Leif has played stay-at-home-dad to the Things when I’ve had places to go and things to do. And I wonder if any other moms worried about being schlepy in front of the cute, charming dad with an adorable chubby toddler.

Then I realized I love my life, even if it isn’t manicured and perfect. Stepford wives are boring robots anyway.

I also decided to set no less than three alarm clocks for tomorrow morning.


  1. I love you.

  2. Stefanie says:

    YOU ARE AWESOME! And, I think it actually would take effort for you to look “shleppy”.
    But, it is true, you randomly run into the sexiest menfolk when you’re not feeling quite “prepped” for the encounter.

  3. Awww, I <3 you girls!

  4. Like you, I am not a morning person. Also like you, I have a husband who takes care of getting The Little Guy to school in the morning most of the time. He works from home and unless he has to go somewhere (or I do early enough)I don’t have to worry about The Little Guy getting to school. Lucky ladies we are.

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